THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, & LIVING BY THE HOLY SPIRIT (Part 1)

Have you noticed all the “personality” tests being pushed these days? They’ve become a staple in pop culture. There’s something about them that we gravitate to.

Maybe we’re trying to make sense of ourselves, and others, while living in a world full of confusion and control. Besides, it’s fun to discover which Peanuts character you are based on MBTI type.

_{*Please note that some personality tests were founded in mysticism, atheism, or astrology. The root of a thing reveals the purpose of a thing – good or evil. We must test the spirits to determine whether or not to partake in it.}

Whether you’re a fan of taking personality tests, or not, have you noticed the trend to categorize people as “thinkers” or “feelers”.

“Thinking”, and “feeling” are cognitive functions, a way to process. While you may favor one more than the other, you’ll use both. We all have thoughts as well as feelings.

Cognitive functions may show up differently than expected. For example, some Feelers are overthinkers and some Thinkers feel deeply. Some Feelers enjoy research and some Thinkers are passionate. It’s rare, if not impossible, for a person to be all or nothing at all times and in all circumstances.

These ideas should be looked at as more of a spectrum than harsh boxes to put ourselves in.

A lot of assumptions are made about what a Thinker or Feeler is.

Some assign thinking to all men and feeling to all women. This is embarrassing and quite dangerous teaching. It’s incorrect to assume that all women are Feelers and all men are Thinkers.

There’s no gender bias related to each.

Some men are led by feelings more, some women are led by thinking more and vice versa.

Rather than causing division by vomiting false gender stereotypes, we ought to learn how to approach thoughts and feelings in the context of relationship with the Holy Spirit, others, and ourselves.

Some assume all Thinkers are cold, calculated, and make decisions based on critical thinking while all Feelers are warm, empathetic, and make decisions based on emotions. These stereotypes don’t always apply.

According to 16personalties.com, when making decisions Thinkers consider, “How will this help”. This highlights their innate focus on tasks and achievement. (1)

Feelers consider “Who will this help” when making decisions. This is due to the high value they place on relationships and harmony. (1)

WHY IT MATTERS

If you’ve never wondered if you’re predominantly a Thinker or a Feeler, then you may wonder why it even matters.

Understanding cognitive functions promotes self-awareness. Self-awareness can fuel personal growth, develop emotional intelligence, and provide understanding of cognitive differences with others.

No matter how different you are from someone, common ground can usually be found. Patience, kindness and recognizing the value of different perspectives go a long way.

DAY-TO-DAY

Knowing whether you’re predominately a Thinker or a Feeler is helpful in handling normal day-to-day challenges as well as in decision making.

Thinkers may want the facts – just the facts – when making decisions or in every day conversations. This is okay to an extent. Knowing this should prompt a Thinker to listen to others and appreciate the emotional nuances of others as well as themselves.

Feelers may struggle with small talk and expect everyone to feel as deeply as they do all the time. This isn’t realistic. Learning to appreciate the thoughts, ideas, and basic details of life are important.

When it comes to thinking and feeling, neither should be seen as better than the other. Personality traits are merely guideposts that point to how God designed you.

It may seem obvious to say this but thoughts and feelings are good. God uses both to speak to us, speak through us, refine us, and shine through us.

WHEN STRESSED

Another advantage of knowing whether you’re predominately a Thinker or Feeler is during times of extreme stress. Such events push us more than on normal days. The enemy loves to kick us when we’re down.

Understanding which cognitive function stress brings out in you, shines a light on how to find peace in those moments.

Here’s the Surprise! Some Thinkers slip into feeling mode when under extreme stress and some Feelers slip into thinking mode. Not everyone, but some.

For example, I’m a “Feeler”. I’m solution-based, strategically oriented, goal-infused AND I enjoy research (something most would assume strange for one). More typically, I make most decisions based on my own values and convictions. Peace within myself and with others is my natural default. I place an extremely high value on it.

However, when under extreme stress, about 1% of the time, I go into external thinking -or thinking out loud-mode. My laid-back demeanor switches and the filter between my brain and mouth wanes. I may start rambling, out loud, in an attempt to understand what’s happening. The kicker is it usually doesn’t come out well because I rarely use this cognitive function.

What’s going on with this uncharacteristic behavior in these rare moments? The truth is it happens when I experience horrible duress and desperately need help and understanding. I trade peace for an attempt to make sense of what’s going.

During extremely stressful events I must. slow. down. quiet my mind. and find my peace again.

Now I can look back and see that during some extremely stressful moments in the past, the Holy Spirit took over for me. Although the tension was felt, there was also peace. When I slipped into external thinking, my words were few, direct, and exactly what needed to be said. My own weakness turned into strength thanks to God.

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9a)

If you’re a Feeler who slips into thinking mode when stressed, ask yourself some thoughtful questions like: why am I upset? What am I feeling right now? Pour your heart out in prayer. Be curious about your feelings rather than shameful or critical. Get in the presence of GOD and get back into peace mode to move forward.

Some, but not all, Thinkers uncharacteristically use feeling mode during times of extreme stress. This may show up as not being able to think or come up with solutions -something rare for them.

They may get stuck in fear, anger, shame or feel numb and not know how to move forward. This is because feeling mode is more of a weakness for them. It doesn’t get exercised often and they aren’t so great at it.

If you’re a Thinker who slips into feeling mode when stressed, then slow down. Journal things out. Pray through them. Work to name what you’re feeling while you process through things. Be curious about your feelings rather than shameful or critical. Get in the presence of GOD and get back into peace mode to move forward.

Are you a Thinker or a Feeler?

During times of extreme stress, do you stay in your lane with your main cognitive function or do you tend to switch to the opposite?

Leave a comment and let’s talk about it. And come back next week for Part 2 of this series when we’ll go deeper into T vs. F and discuss which one Jesus is AND the Holy Spirit’s role in these things.

If you need more support with your mental health read this: https://shalomtotalwellness.com/2020/10/09/the-thinking-solution-simple-steps-to-become-worry-free/

or this: https://shalomtotalwellness.com/2023/02/09/how-self-awareness-can-lead-to-peace/

Shalom to you,