It’s the year 2020 and what began as a rosy glow of hope, and expectation, has left a lot of people….well, feeling powerless and fearful. A peek at the news? Bad, Bad. All bad. Is anything good happening in the world?!

A minute on social media? Fear! Control! “Friends” have turned to bullying, and shaming, those who may view things differently than they do. Blame has seemingly become the culture, now!

WHY?! Why are people using social media as a platform to boss everyone around? One simple word: FEAR. Ever known a “control freak”? Well, those people are literally the. most. afraid. They also may feel the most helpless.

Control makes fearful people feel powerful!

What is it about a crisis that causes the finger of blame to be pointed? Perhaps it is the fearful person’s default when they don’t get their way. Perhaps it is just simply easier to blame others’ behavior rather than take responsibility for their own feelings of helplessness.

After all, if YOU would do this (or that) then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess, right? Not exactly.

In the end, the responsibility for yourself, and your family lies squarely on your shoulders…and that goes for each of us.

Check out the following 4 TRUTHS ABOUT PLAYING THE BLAME GAME:

1) Blaming Others Causes a Loss of Personal Power. Remember how Adam blamed Eve (and even GOD for giving him Eve) when God confronted him for eating the forbidden fruit? (see Genesis 3)? In that moment, Adam chose to engage in the blame game rather than be honest. You see, pointing a finger of blame towards others is an act of dishonesty which leads to a loss of personal power. In effect, Adam was saying “If you hadn’t given me this woman, maybe THIS wouldn’t have happened, GOD!” Once you give away your personal power, helplessness (and resentment) is sure to follow.

2) Blaming Others Provides a False Sense of Security. Sadly, the belief that we are better than others – or at least, always KNOW better – is strangely calming for some. After all, if I am above others, then I must be getting ahead in life. I must be better. I must be safer. I will end up above while all of you are below. Right? Wrong. Not only does this attitude give no room for one to be wrong, at times, but superiority is never pretty. In time, this false sense of security will shatter and reality will set in. At some point, you will realize that your security must be in something (Someone) that is bigger, wiser, and stronger than you are.

REMINDER: Those who live on a high horse have much further to fall than the rest of us.

3) Blaming Others Is a Waste of Time and Energy. In the moment, telling others they are “part of the problem” or “not taking things seriously’, etc. may feel like you are accomplishing something positive. However, this type of behavior will leave you feeling depleted and steal your peace. Your time and energy would be better spent looking within, addressing WHY you feel the need to go around pointing a finger of blame.

4) Blaming Others Does Nothing to Redeem the Situation. There are absolutely times in life where we had nothing to do with the injustice that has befallen us. There are times when we are innocent victims. In those times, God will guide and heal us. …And bring justice on our behalf. He may even use us to speak out against corruption, abuse, etc. There are abusive situations that MUST BE addressed!

However, that is not what I am discussing here. What I am addressing here, are times where there is room for other viewpoints. There are times when questioning should be allowed, and encouraged. During these times we can be the ones to help redeem a difficult situation. We may not be able to “fix” everything, but within our own homes, and spheres, God desires us to be a part of the solutions rather than placing blame and shame on others. Helping to redeem a tough situation will help to also take back your personal power. You are not helpless! GOD made you to be an over comer and to encourage others to overcome as well!

Switching Gears

Whether you are prone to pointing fingers – allowing your fears to push you into control mode – OR you’ve been on the receiving end of someone like the aforementioned, what’s the remedy? How can we get back into a state of peace? Check out the do-able peace regaining ideas below:

1) Remember That There is Only One Who is Ultimately in Control. Regardless of the type of crisis-mode you may find yourself in (physical, mental spiritual, financial, etc)…regardless of the scale of the crisis you may find yourself in (personal or world-wide) there is only ONE who is completely in control…..and it ain’t YOU! It is YHWH, Creator GOD, your Heavenly Father who loves you and has good plans for you! Stop micro-managing the rest of the world. Instead of blaming others, run to GOD. Receive His peace. He is waiting for you with arms open wide.

2) Be Humble. Yes, I know that you have the “special insight”…the “special wisdom” that the rest of us need. It’s just too bad that we can’t all be like you *eyeroll. Well, even if that is true – be humble. Your patience with others will go much further than your expectations on others to see things your way. Besides, you might be “wrong”. Be patient, and kind, to yourself as well. Crisis-Mode takes a lot out of a person…so take it easy as much as possible.

Please, before you post or say something, ask yourself: Am I moving in the spirit of fear or faith? Am I trying to control, or encourage others? Am I revealing truth or spreading shame?

3) Find Out What God Is Saying. This is something that I go back to often because when you seek GOD for His heart, on a matter, then you begin to see things the way He sees them. You begin to see and love people (and yourself) the way that He does. This concept can be applied to situations in life as well. What does HE say about the current crisis you are in? Ask Him and then flow in what He places on your heart. ASK HIM – you may just be surprised by how He answers! AND if you have been bullied, or shamed, by others, for handling things the way you feel God has led YOU to – then pray for the shamers. Yes, pray for the blamers. They need peace just as much as you do…maybe even more so! But by all means, carry on with your God-given role in the situation and don’t allow the misplaced words, of others, to get you off-track.

I pray this helps someone out there. There really is no room for misplaced blame, or shame, during difficult times. I pray that your personal season of crisis will draw you closer to GOD and closer to your loved ones. Allow God to use hard times to root out things, within you, that are not of Him. Allow His refining Hand to bring about positive growth, and change, within you. May the peace of YHWH be upon you. May His strength carry you. May you feel His love for you in new, deeper levels…for you are so very loved now…and always.