Dr. Sheli (Karen Michelle) Ricci is a Doctor of Traditional Naturopathy, Biblical Wellness Counselor, and author who has endured a life long struggle with auto-immune disease which eventually ended up in an 8 month long paralysis (transverse myelitis). This struggle prompted her to seek out natural healing methods. Her approach is simply to look at the person as a whole: mind, body and spirit, and point them back to the natural things Yahweh has created to help them on their healing journey.
It’s November! The crispness of autumn invigorates the body as well as the spirit. Change is in the air!
The winds of autumn swirl the leaves and play on our senses.
The changing weather may prompt you to make personal changes, as well. Lean into these promptings.
Unfortunately, there is a downside to November, as well as December. This time of year, often comes with feelings of being overwhelmed attached to over committed schedules. Of course, we wouldn’t want to miss out or cause our loved ones any disappointment.
But where do we draw the line between healthy activities and unhealthy expectations?
Here are 4 Ways to Stay Healthy During the Holidays:
1) Listen to your body. If you are tired, then choose to rest. If you’re hungry, then don’t put off eating. Don’t wait until you’re thoroughly exhausted or worse – SICK – to begin meeting your own basic needs. You know yourself best. Listen when your body is trying to tell you something.
2) Don’t be afraid to say “no” from time to time. Don’t worry, “they” will get along just fine without you. Overextending yourself doesn’t help anyone.
3) Skip the sugar. I know…I know…there are so many treats that we only get this time of year. But you’ll pay for the indulgence later on. Say “yes” to your health by saying “no thank you” to sugar laden treats.
4) Stay in tune with your Creator by choosing to be JOYFUL always and by remaining in PRAYER. Stay close to the heart of GOD by remaining thankful.
“Always be joyful. Pray regularly. In everything give thanks, for this is what God wants from you who are united with the Messiah Yeshua.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Consider the root of your celebrations and keep the main thing, the MAIN thing. Staying fervent in fellowship with your Creator will have a positive effect on all other relationships, keep you focused on what’s truly important and in the flow of shalom.
Antibiotic use, or perhaps I should say overuse, causes catastrophic damage to the health of an individual. What one may think of as a “quick fix” may cause a short-term remission of infection. However, the eventual long-term damage is far more distressing, often overlooked, and points to the original problem – compromised gut health.
Prescription strength antibiotics will indeed wipe out the bad bacteria (infection), that one is facing, but they are nondiscriminatory and wipe out good bacteria as well. This leaves one more open to allergic reactions, auto-immune distress and all sorts of maladies that would have naturally been prevented if the microbiome, of the individual, had not been tampered with.
The bacteria, in our gut, is our first defense against sickness and disease. When we don’t take care of the bacteria, we lose that protective barrier.
One way to protect gut bacteria is to avoid taking prescription strength antibiotics. If you do find yourself with an infection, internal or external, before turning to prescription strength medication, consider trying one of the natural substances that Creator God has blessed us with.
There are many options, readily available to us, found within nature. These God given antibiotics won’t wipe out good bacteria and will give your immune system a boost in the process.
BLACK SEED OIL
Touted as the “cure for everything except death”, black seed oil (Nigella sativa) is a powerful ally against many physical maladies, including internal and external infections. It also works to speed up healing.
In fact, research shows that black seed oil can even be used against “super bugs” – infections that are antibiotic resistant.
As with any oil, used therapeutically or to cook with, black seed oil must be purchased in an organic, raw and “cold pressed” state. When an oil is created using a pressing method that utilizes heat, it creates free radicals and can cause more harm than good, when consumed.
*Caution: Due to its tendency to burn the throat, you may want to add the black seed oil to some juice, and then swallow. I would recommend against taking on an empty stomach.
Used as far back as ancient Greco Roman times, solid silver has long been known as a very effective healing substance. In modern times, silver has been used in colloidal form which simply means that it has been broken down into very small particles and is now suspended in a different matter, or liquid.
Once in the presence of colloidal silver, single-cell bacteria (such as fungus, some infections and viruses) are destroyed. The silver literally chokes out the enzymes that feed single-cell bacteria, thus starving out the bacteria and killing them.
Another major benefit of using silver, as a natural antibiotic, is that it leaves good bacteria alone – unlike prescription antibiotic drugs. This is good news for the times we’re living in, where overusage of prescription strength antibiotics has created infections that no longer respond to modern drugs.
Colloidal silver is a secret weapon that more people are waking up to. It can be used to help benefit many illnesses and is seen as being safe enough for internal, as well as external use. Some people use it for its immune system boosting effects during what is known as cold and flu season.
Colloidal silver gets a bad rap among some health professionals. As always, research the benefits, as well as risks, in order to make your own informed decision.
Fresh, raw, garlic in its natural form should be crushed and then left alone to sit for 10 minutes in order to allow the potency to surface. Just remember that cooking the actual garlic or heating it up to any degree, will destroy the active ingredient in garlic – allicin – which will, in turn, take away the healing properties.
For internal infection, garlic can be chewed and swallowed directly or chopped and then added to liquids, honey, or food, and then consumed. A therapeutic dose should contain at least 4 garlic cloves at a time. For serious infection, consider consuming a therapeutic dose, twice a day.
Garlic can be used for external infections as well. Once again, fresh, raw garlic should be crushed and then set aside for 10 minutes to allow the allicin to come to its maximum potency. Then the garlic can be directly added to honey, or coconut oil, and then applied to the affected area of skin. This would also work with combating fungal infections. Use this method of application twice a day until the skin clears up.
As a side note, garlic also helps stimulate cancer fighting cells. It’s truly a powerhouse of health benefits!
*Caution: To avoid an upset stomach, do not take garlic on an empty stomach. Since garlic is so strong, it’s possible that it may kill some of the healthy bacteria in the gut. Supplementing with probiotics will help insure this will not be a problem.
This well-known remedy has been around for centuries and is just as effective, against coughs, colds, and infections as it is old. Its active ingredient, carvacrol, is what causes oregano oil to be so powerful against harmful bacteria, making it another one of nature’s antibiotics.
For internal use, add oregano oil to a carrier oil such as coconut oil or grape seed oil, before ingestion. This cuts back on potential stomach upset as well as dilutes the strong flavor that is characteristic of this oil.
Oregano oil can also be used externally for psoriasis and fungal infection. In order to stave off burning, or irritation, oregano oil ought to be diluted with a carrier oil before placing on the affected areas. Avoid placing oil on open scrapes and wounds.
Oregano oil can also be deeply inhaled, or used in a steam inhalation, to help break up congestion, mucus, and bring overall relief from sinus infections, colds, and flu.
*Strong Warning: Pregnant women, and women who are trying to conceive, are advised against using oregano oil due to its emmenagogue properties, meaning that it may induce menstruation which can harm the fetus. The therapeutic use of oregano oil is not recommended for infants, children or nursing women. Those with a heart condition, or high blood pressure, should avoid oregano oil use or, at least, consult their physician or natural healthcare practitioner before use.
Perhaps the most delicious antibiotic that nature yields is raw honey. In order to receive its therapeutic properties, honey must be labeled “organic”, “raw” or “unpasteurized”, and preferably, “local”.
The location where the honey has been gathered determines the specific ingredients found within the honey. It can even be said that relief for seasonal allergies can be found when one consumes the raw honey that has been gathered from bees that live, locally, to the allergy sufferer.
Raw honey contains an enzyme called glucose oxidase. This enzyme produces a natural form of hydrogen peroxide – a substance that has antibacterial properties. This makes raw honey an excellent option in terms of cleansing skin wounds and preventing infection.
One of the benefits of using raw honey, on external skin infections and wounds, is that it won’t sting or irritate the skin.
Raw honey can be consumed to help soothe a sore throat, boost energy, aid in digestive issues and improve immune health. Raw honey also has anti-inflammatory properties and, when combined with cinnamon, may provide relief to those who suffer from painful joints.
*Strong Warning: Raw honey should never be given to infants due to the possibility that it could induce botulism. People who are insulin resistant ought to avoid, or take caution, when consuming honey.
Our bodies respond best to things that they recognize – plants, herbs, minerals. This connects us more deeply to Creator. This type of co-creating brings about the health and healing that we need. Besides that, it is incredibly empowering to walk away from pharmaceuticals and the systems of the world!
Shalom to you,
1) Salman, Mohd Tariq & Khan, Rahat & Shukla, Indu. (2008). Antimicrobial activity of Nigella sativa Linn. seed oil against multi-drug resistant bacteria from clinical isolates. Nat. Prod. Radiance. 7.
Thoughts on The Wilderness: No one, or at least very few of us, wakes up with the goal of spending time in the wilderness. We prefer comfort. We like our niceties. Growth sounds good but who wants messy?
Like the Hebrews, of old, it may take a move of GOD to even get us out there. Like Yeshua (Jesus), it may take the Holy Spirit’s leading. And so, on faith, we go…
…and once we’re there, reality sets in. It’s a wild place full of much less than what we once had. Uncertainty sets in. It’s narrow here. It’s constricting. There’s nowhere no run to and nowhere to hide. We can’t go back to the life we once knew. No map has been provided for our journey. We’re not sure how we’ll get out of this.
But we do have a guide. His Name is Yeshua (Jesus). In the wilderness, we learn to receive His love in a new way. All other voices become background noise as His Voice becomes the Only One we hear. His direction becomes clearer than what we see around us.
He’s with us. He’s taking us through the heat. He’s shielding us from the elements. He’s teaching us His ways. We’re learning how to love. We’re learning how to live. He’s sending the manna and the quail. We’re learning when to move and when to rest.
These things don’t always happen as effectively when in the city or in the town or when surrounded by community. But in the wilderness the necessary becomes the real. We have no other option but to cling to our Good Shepherd.
This is where real growth happens. Ashes are exchanged for beauty. We learn how to fight the giants. Preparations are being made for us to take the land.
“The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.
2 It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the Lord, and the excellency of our God.
3 Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.
4 Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.
5 Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
6 Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert.
7 And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes.
8 And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.
9 No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon, it shall not be found there; but the redeemed shall walk there:
10 And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.” -Isaiah 35:1-10 (KJV)
In this dry and lonely land, we are being strengthened. We are being refined. Champions are being born. Victory is imminent. There’s no room for fear. Our tongues only speak faith. Look for the flowers while in this wilderness. There may not be entire fields of them. But they can be found. This is where we become FREE.
The Ricci House is celebrating Shavuot/Pentecost today! It’s also known as “The Feast of Weeks” because Lev.23:15-16 tells us to count the weeks (or 50 days) after Passover. This celebration commemorates the giving of the Torah (GOD’s holy instructions) at Mt. Sinai. After Yeshua (Jesus) returned to sit at the right Hand of the Father, the Holy Spirit’s baptism of fire was also given on Shavuot.
“God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” — John 4:24
A deep well of joy, and purpose, enters your life when you choose to get on GOD’s timetable…when you choose to show up for the appointments that He sets.
This is much more than a history lesson. It’s a tangible way to step into the more that GOD has for us. We get to be a part of HIS-story!
This isn’t mere religious duty. It’s relationship!
A divine exchange occurs when we put GOD’s feast days on our schedule and lean into them. As you choose to get to know the Father’s heart, through His feasts, your heart changes also. What breaks His heart begins to break yours. What sets His heart ablaze makes you come alive! And the things of this world become strangely dim.
Take note of how when the Torah, and the Holy Spirit, were given, GOD’s presence arrives in unforgettable ways. With smoke, lightening, thunders, tongues of fire! This is evidence of Heaven meeting earth.
I need more of Him. He wants to meet with me. So, we plan for this special date together. We give back. We abstain from work. We pray. We read the Word. We praise. And we eat! And GOD shows up with a fresh filling of His Spirit.
Happy Shavuot, Shalom Fam! You know what to do. Don’t cower from the holy mountain of the LORD. He meets us there with exactly what we need.
Here are some Bible verses about Shavuot/Pentecost: Exodus 19; Leviticus 23:15-22; Acts 2:1-21; Acts 20:16; 1 Corinthians 16:8
Hooray! My first solo book is finally out, friends!
My goal, with Shalom Total Wellness: Biblical Principles for Health & Healing, was to make it accessible enough for someone completely new to natural health, but fresh enough for someone who has been into natural health for years.
As per the usual, I approach everything through the lens of biblical truth. You might be surprised to hear that the Bible has a lot to say on the topic of health and healing!
I also did something that I don’t do very often. I shared some of my personal journey with health struggles. Yes, I got vulnerable.
I’d be honored for you to consider reading Shalom Total Wellness: Biblical Principles for Health & Healing. It was listed as the #1 New Release in the Naturopathy category, and made the Best Seller list, on amazon! Currently, it is steadily remaining in the top 7 New Releases, for both kindle and paperback versions (in the Naturopathy category) on amazon. Thank you for being part of the journey!
My initial opinion about the C-V virus was that it was all hype or perhaps even a hoax. My belief remains intact concerning the actual virus. It was a cold with respiratory symptoms, for most. Sadly, for a select few with pre-existing conditions, and/or serious Vitamin D deficiency, it proved more serious – even deadly for some. But for most, it was a mild illness that lasted a few days and then passed.
However, the actual “C-V 19” VIRUS is very different than the illness that many are experiencing now. If you’re wondering why some people have a harder time than others with this illness, why some have had “it” more than once, etc…this is due to the genetic transference that is being spread by those who are getting jabbed.
The virus is NOT the “vaccine”. I REPEAT: the virus is NOT the “vaccine”! These injections are not even working like typical vaccines do. These C-V injections are genetic modifiers that have not been tested and fully researched.
What is happening now, with the C-V injections, IS the experiment. This means that it is very possible for some to receive saline injection (placebo), a heavier dosage, or lesser dosage than others.
Ingredients of each C-V injection includes at least 50 Billion sp*ke proteins, fetal cells. graphene oxide (think tiny razor blades within black goo), and 3 retroviruses (including HIV) to name a few. Sadly, just coming in contact with someone who has this in their system can cause genetic transference to the un-injected individual.
Vitamins can help strengthen your immune system, and must be a major part of your personal arsenal for prevention of C-V related illness. But merely stating that Vitamin D is always the answer is too simplistic. We’re not dealing with a regular flu, at this point. Remember, the “vaccine” is NOT the virus. Whether you end up getting vaccinated, or not, at some point you may end up in a potential genetic transference situation with close contact with someone who has been jabbed.
Thankfully, we are not left helpless in this trying time. There are several different natural substances that can help combat the genetic transference. If you doubt that something natural can help combat genetic transference from a bio-weapon, I understand. This doubt comes from a lack of understanding concerning how we were originally created.
We were created from the dust of the earth – by GOD. And it is the natural substances, from the earth, that our bodies recognize and respond best to. It does not take a pummeling from man-made chemicals or GMO injections to get us back into a state of health.
In the end, I know that most of us really are trying to do our best with what is a very difficult situation. Below, I have listed several natural substances that can help combat the genetic transference C-V.
GOD, in His infinite wisdom, placed within many of our backyards, something that we commonly refer to as a “weed”. This “weed” has within it the properties needed to UNDOCK sp*ke protein. Yes, DANDELION is your first line of defense against sp*ke protein!
This info is based on research that has found that common dandelion (Taraxacum officinale) blocks the interaction between ACE2 receptors and sp*ke protein. We all have ACE2 receptors in our bodies and the sp*ke proteins are encoded to attach and attack them. This is why people who take statins, or medication that inhibits ACE2 receptors (many elderly), have had more serious reactions (even deadly sometimes) …bc if the natural ability of their ACE2 receptors is being inhibited then their immune system’s ability to fight off the sp*ike proteins is severely weakened.
Suramin is found in pine needles. According to Dr. Judi Mikovits, suramin is the antidote for the C-V “vaccine”. It works by inhibiting the coagulation (“clotting”) aspect as well as the inappropriate replication of DNA and RNA, in particular.
Pine needles also give an incredible boost of energy and immune support. The suggested mode of ingestion is via hot tea (5 grams of dried, or fresh, pine needles to one cup of water). Keep the used pine needles after your first cup to be used again a second time. If you are dealing with a strong genetic transference response to C-V, you could drink up to 3 to 6 cups a day. Use your own discernment.
As a precaution, only drink half a cup the first time in order to make sure that you don’t have any allergic reactions. For the most part, pine needle tea is safe for everyone but be wise and cautious until you know, for sure, how your body responds.
I do not recommend going out and harvesting your own pine needles, unless you really know what you are looking for, as some varieties are toxic. Once again, please do your own prayerful research on this topic, first.
*Caution: pregnant women are not encouraged to consume pine needle tea.
For my Female Friends: Star Anise has within it something called shikimic acid. This acid helps to combat spike protein.
The spike protein, whether from the virus, or genetic transference from someone who’s been jabbed, tends to gravitate to, and attack the ovaries, in particular. This is why I recommend women check out star anise. It has hormonal properties that have been helpful in regards to C-V related menstrual irregularities. It can be used in tincture, hot tea or even powder form.
It does have a pretty strong flavor (like black licorice some say) but it may be worth pushing thru! Do not use Japanese star anise as it can be toxic. As always, I recommend you do your own research to decide if it is safe for you, first.
You may have heard of the positive effects of the drugs, hydrochloroquine (HCQ) and chloroquine (CQ) in relation to combatting C-V 19. They are both chemically derived versions of natural quinine. My approach is to go to the natural source.
Quinine is a powerful anti-viral and has been used to fight off malaria for years. It’s anti-inflammatory properties have lent to it’s favorable history with treating rheumatoid arthritis and lupus.
Studies show that HCQ/CQ have a synergistic effect on the cells to modulate immune activity to guide the immune system into an anti-viral state. HCQ/CQ have also been found to reduce the amount of time that one has C-V 19 as well as inhibits the potential for pneumonia to take hold.
Clinical trials have also shown that HCQ/CQ can reduce the risk of death among those who are hospitalized with C-V 19.
It goes without saying that quinine is a heavy hitter when it comes to combating C-V 19 related illness, and something highly worth checking into.
I pray this information is helpful to you. We do not operate in a spirit of fear but it is time to get educated so that you can be aware, and ready, in case your household gets hit. Be empowered by the fact that there are natural approaches to C-V19 and the genetic transference that is rapidly occurring. What we are experiencing is no surprise to our ABBA Father. He has provided a way for us!
This is not a complete protocol or medical advice. These are my opinions. Before making any decisions, please do your own prayerful research and seek the opinion of your natural healthcare professional.
I take the topic of health personally, very personally. Because, you see, I have been on the other end of an all-out onslaught to stop, maim, and kill me for my entire life. One of the main weapons used against me was physical illness, disease, and false approaches to “health”.
My friends are my family and when they’re sick, I can feel it. When my husband and daughter are sick, I feel it. It’s no wonder I decided to become a doctor of natural medicine. I had to. I couldn’t find the right doctor for me so I became one.
I view things differently – it’s life and death and the fight goes beyond people.
Maybe you can imagine my irritation upon realizing that my family is now fighting what has been termed “C-V” (for the second time). Yeah, not happy. We take all the right supplements and vitamins. We eat biblically clean. We nebulize and diffuse all the things. We’ve already been thru a round of this junk, last year, so I thought we were beyond it.
It just goes to show you how aggressive this illness is. How pointed it is. How it can target anyone.
So we keep taking the right supplements and vitamins. We’re still nebulizing and diffusing all the things. I have plans. I have back up plans – all for “just in case”. Some of it is a waiting game. It’s all being bathed in prayer.
And as the world is full of bad news, loved ones clinging to life…and some losing theirs, wars, rumors of wars, increased hatred among people, etc. – the literal war for our lives increases. Everyone is being affected, deeply, by one thing or another. One has to wonder where GOD is in all of it.
So, I asked. Yeah, I asked Yeshua (Jesus) this morning where He was in all of it. I know what the Bible says and I believe it. But I still needed to hear from Him.
And I found Him……sitting down on the beach of a lake. He was skipping rocks into the water. It wasn’t for sport or fun. He was waiting. And He seemed irritated. I sat down beside Him. We sat in silence, together, as I watched Him skipping the rocks over and into the water.
He’s really good at it. Each rock stayed above the water for a long time before being pulled down by their weight. A feat that I tried, as a child, but never quite succeeded at – not consistently anyways.
The sky was ablaze with pinks, and purples, as the sun set low in the distance. He had been here a long time. Waiting. Irritated. His brow furrowed. His hand clinched as He hurled each rock into the lake.“
This had to happen,“ He said, his gaze remained on the water. And He just kept skipping those rocks in. I dare not ask why this had to happen but I knew that He was referring to what we were all going thru, on a personal scale as well as world-wide. It wasn’t just about me or my family.
Of course, He knew that I was wondering “why”, even though I didn’t ask. He answered me: “It’s principalities.”
Then He forcefully skipped a rock into the lake.
“It’s spiritual.” Another rock went in.
“It’s personal.” Another rock hurled in.
He stopped skipping rocks at that point. In this solemn understanding, we sat. For the very battle I had fought all of my life – with all the feelings attached – were His feelings in this moment.
And He had to keep waiting for now. We all do. And it’s hard. It’s irritating.
I thought of how He whittled that tree branch into a whip, that one time. While He whittled, He waited. And that’s where we are right now – in that moment of tension, that moment of wait, of irritation.
He turned to me. Our eyes met. “Thank you for sitting with me.”He was grateful for MY company. Mine?
He offered no promises of things turning out okay. That all seems a bit trite now anyways, don’t you think.
But He said this:“I’m with you, always.”
“Oh hey (yes, Yeshua said “hey”) it’s your birthday today. I’m sorry, but you gift is going to be late this year.” Then He turned His gaze back to the lake and began skipping rocks again.
“Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.“ For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree; and it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” — Isaiah 55:6-13
If you are currently enduring a time of suffering, please know that you are NOT alone. GOD IS with you. He is guiding you, and loving you, thru it all.
Trauma Bonding occurs when a person, living with some sort of unresolved pain, recognizes a similar pain in another person. The two sufferers, then, begin a friendship based on their pain. This leads to all sorts of dysfunction within the relationship that will, inevitably, leak into other parts of life and other relationships as well.
At first, this may seem like a positive friendship because, after all, they’ve found someone who can relate to what they’ve been through. It’s always comforting to know you’re not alone. While this type of friendship does not always turn out dysfunctional, I will be highlighting how toxicity can manifest.
If the friends become more content within trauma, and pain, than intent on their own personal growth and healing then toxicity is certain to follow. This “contentment” is nothing more than settling for a lifelong trauma response. Inevitably, at least one of the parties involved will end up feeling stuck in life and, sadly, may wonder why.
Please understand that I am not speaking out against someone who needs support from their friends during a trying season of life. I am also not speaking against sharing burdens with friends.
To the contrary, what I encourage you to consider is a friendship that is taking too much from you – so much, in fact, that it is causing anxiety, further pain, and loss of personal growth, health, and freedom.
If one of the parties involved has a leaning towards narcissistic behavior, then most likely the other party has empathic, or very compassionate leanings. This will cause the trauma based “friendship” to have an extra layer of toxicity.
The deep compassionate nature, of the empathic friend will be taken advantage of by the narcissist. In spite of the red flags, and abuse, the empath often remains stuck within the trauma based “friendship” with the narc because, after all, they recognize (and connect with) what appears to be – a similar type of shared pain.
Yet Another Layer:
There is another type of trauma bond which manifests when the non-narc feels underlying anxiety, or fear, around the narcissist. Deep down, the non-narc party recognizes that the other party is unsafe.
But, due to fear of rejection, questioning their own intuition, or under serious deception, they choose to allow the narcissist to remain in their lives. This often turns into the non-narc relying on the narcissist to “protect” them. Think Stockholm Syndrome.
If you’re wondering if your “friendship” is toxic, or if someone is holding you back in life, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
– Does my “friend” (relative, spouse, etc) celebrate my victories?
– Does my “friend” (relative, spouse, etc) encourage my efforts towards health and healing (mind, body & spirit)?
– Does my “friend” (relative, spouse, etc) give me space to grow or resent my efforts to better myself?
– What do the conversations between this person, and I, mostly center around?
– Can I, safely, confront this person if there is an issue, between us, that we need to discuss OR am I afraid of how they will react?
– Is there an issue, between us, that the person refuses to address in spite of my attempt to discuss it?
– How does my “friend” (relative, spouse, etc) speak of other people who question them?
We are all on a healing journey. Friendships can be such a blessing in this life! However, we must be wise with who we choose to spend our time with, and open our hearts to. GOD has called us to be kind to others…but not to be a doormat. If someone is standing in the way of your health, personal growth, and well-being then they do not have your best interests in mind.
This topic is very serious and can be multi-layered. There are many things that can be affected by a trauma-based friendship – whether there is a narcissistic element at play or not.
However, praying through these things and learning to recognize what you’re dealing with are the first steps to breaking free.
Our need to get well, and live well, is just as vital as our need for friendship.
When our relationships are healthy – it aids in our overall health and well-being.
So you’ve just been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease…or maybe you’ve been diagnosed for a while and are wondering what exactly this means for your life. You’ve probably been counseled to take prescription medications. You may have been told that what you’re facing is “incurable”. You may be grieving. You may even be afraid.
However you may be feeling, please know that fear, anger, and grief are valid. The physical pain and uncertainty that so often comes with autoimmunity can be overwhelming. The process of getting a correct diagnosis can even last years and be exhausting.
I’ve been down this road before and have three things that I’d like to encourage you with.
#1: You are NOT a diagnosis. A diagnosis can help shine light on which area, of your health, needs attention. BUT it is not telling you who you are. It doesn’t have to become your identity. It is not condemning you to a future of limitations. Medical professionals, although well-meaning, do not know exactly what your future holds.
#2: You ARE powerful. As one of my favorite mentors used to always say: “If you weren’t born with it, then you don’t have to live with it.” (Roby Mitchell) When it comes to addressing auto-immunity, there are options out there that go beyond allopathic medicine’s “answers”. By getting to the root cause of auto-immunity via proper nutrition, lifestyle changes, and proper supplementation, there is a very good possibility that your symptoms may lessen and the disease process may even be halted.
#3: You are NOT alone. It may feel a bit lonely, right now, but you are never alone. Many people have traversed this path. Find the support you need. I am cheering you on! And remember that GOD is not surprised by your present health struggle. He has solutions for your health and wellness. You are always on His heart and He is always there for you.
Auto-immunity is a serious situation. Your body is sending you a message that things must change. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. You can switch the disease/diagnosis narrative by putting your energy into making the necessary changes that will place your body in healing mode. You got this!
Spring is such an exciting time for a Hebraic Yeshua follower – Passover followed up by the Feast of Unleavened Bread gives us ample opportunity to draw closer to our Messiah, as well as to our family. I love walking out a faith that requires physical, do-able displays like getting the leaven out of our homes, eating unleavened bread, and getting the table ready. In addition, we are to go about preparing our hearts to get rid of anything that is not of GOD and seek more of our Messiah.
It is all too easy, however, to get caught up in traditions of men rather than biblical instruction. In an attempt to get everything “right”, we often get tripped up by things that are not required by our Heavenly Father. This truly is the antithesis of the shalom that HE will provide when we humbly seek Him and celebrate His Ways with His Spirit as our guide. It is my desire to encourage you to keep things simple and keep the main thing (Yeshua) the main thing.
Below, is a simple, but meaningful, Passover Service that I have written. Feel free to download it and/or print it out. There are a few supplies that you will need to gather ahead of time and it is encouraged to share in a meal, after this service has been completed.